» posted on 11:18am - January 13 2009 | posted by Geist
So here's the thing. Recently my sister decided she wanted to try to hook me up with this girl she's knows and I of course was not amused. The girl, of course knowing nothing of dear sis's plans, came over to hang out with me and friends. So yeah, I'm thinking, okay, she's pretty cute, but still, no thanks, I'm not dating these days for... a few different reasons so whatever. Now, to get this out in the open, this is probably the longest I've been alone since I first started dating, so I'm really fucking lonely. I feel... distant from everyone and everything it seems. But back to point, I went over to this girls house tonight, once again with a friend, and we all spent a few hours til about 3:30 this morning just talking, and listening to music, playing some games and stuff and this girl is NUTS. I've dealt with crazy people before, but I can just feel her tears under the surface waiting to burst out but she keeps it inside under a semi-hostile front. She's attention starved and has been through some bad times the last few years. All of the sudden, I'm attracted to her. After seeing just how damaged she is, I like the girl. Seems kind of... self destructive. I don't know if perhaps I'm just so lonely, it's nice to talk to a new female in my life who is actually single, but I really think it's because I like how fucked up she is. It makes me feel connected cause I've been through much the same, and I'd like to think I came out slightly more intact maybe, but none the less, I really just want to cry too. I dunno. Anyone want to share thoughts. Don't worry with advice, I'll just end up doing whatever anyway, but still, it'd be nice to hear what some of you may have to say.
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posted by:
belangaria · date:
12:53am - March 08 2009In "saving" other people as you put it, you often hope to save a part of yourself. If you save enough people, parts of yourself will be safe with them.
This doesn't work.
All that happens is you end up spread out over a large area, and you're always looking for the missing pieces.
I been there, I done that, I designed the bloody t shirt then burned it.
I'm still picking up pieces, but I decided I wasn't going to be in that place any more. I know that you can't flip a switch and sort yourself out like that, but I'm telling myself I can. And I'm stubborn.
Love and Lollipops
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posted by:
Blem · date:
11:52pm - January 26 2009If they're not completely psychotic I usually find "damaged ones" very attractive. Sometimes it's just really hard to get into those "hey I surf (shop) all day and life is grand man!" type of people. It's... blah.
Meng
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posted by:
Geist · date:
4:25am - January 15 2009I guess you were wrong then. Over the last few years of my life my ability to see inside people has become... a whole to sense for me. I can hang out with some once and know their story. Their wants, needs. Sometimes you meet someone who's hurting just like you. Wanting what you want... In my case, I became attracted to her because I want to save her. Because I don't want her to become me. But now, in a flash, it's over before it began anyway. So... doesn't matter.
Acceptance is not as powerful as submission.
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posted by:
rainingpoison · date:
1:22am - January 15 2009I always thought people would not be attracted to me if they knew I was "damaged" so I've always tried to hide it for the most part.
The world needs some kind of passion right now. Maybe compassion...
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posted by:
TuLzie · date:
1:08am - January 14 2009but everyone is damaged in their own ways, some sustain more injuries than other.....
hope things go well
"we are our own devil, we are our own devil.... and we''ll make this world our hell"
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posted by:
Neglection · date:
5:27pm - January 13 2009I can completely see the appeal. The damaged goods thing is appealing to alot of people, especially emotionally deranged ones. That isn't a stab at you, it is just how I see it.
if(literalists->catholicChurch()) {
Jesus = mithra(Dionosys(Osiris(...)));
}
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