quoting Lev:

The chicken lady must have really high emotional intelligence.

Hahahahaha, the chicken lady She's... weird

Chicken lady? Thats gross.

The chicken lady must have really high emotional intelligence.

LOL

Quoting

"Up to a third of women find it difficult or impossible to reach a climax during sex."


Maybe she should spend more time loving herself and then maybe she will find what gets her off.

....
you confuse me so much.
because, it's almost like 2 different people are responding to me. and i know that sounds stupid. but seriously, that first response, and this last one are miles apart on how you worded things and put them out there to be perceived.

first one, typical lev. just very.. you. the second one? nottttt so much. some of it, yes. but for the most part, i like the second lev better. haha.

i don't know. maybe it's just me and i'm overly tired.

everything you said though, i agree. and mayhap i was being very passive aggressive (point taken in that regard). i see what you mean about the IQ standards and such.. i dunno. maybe if you took this approach to more things people wouldn't always think the worst about what you're trying to say.

No, no, no... Don't overreact here.

I've noticed much of what you have said, and I know how I portrayed you was only how you advertise yourself. And I know full well that you are nice to a few people here.

I don't debate most of what you are saying. Further, I won't even get debated on whether you are intelligent in one way or not, because that really seems to me to be a relative question (since different people will see it differently).

i don't think you'd be able to realize as much emotionally if you were an idiot

I don't doubt that. The thing is, the whole IQ standard is just so obsolete that we are trying to find new measures of intelligence to replace that - emotional intelligence being one of them. Emotional intelligence probably has a lot more in common with general intelligence than I or anyone else think, but since we are still relying on the IQ standard to rate intelligence, it just seems that we still don't totally even understand what exactly intelligence is, because even these theories and guidelines keep changing.

so, don't go assuming anything about my emotional intelligence. whether it be great or small, you have no idea about it.

I'm not assuming a single thing, and you think I am then please tell me what and where. All I was saying was *IF* you are unable to determine whether or not things you say are hurtful to other people, then this does say something about your emotional intelligence. It can say different things to different people and doesn't always need to make or break the intelligence of a person. I'm simply saying that things like this are a major part of emotional intelligence - that's all. And I haven't even gone into anything outside of what I see or know from this site, so I really didn't think I was assuming. Perhaps you could say I am assuming of the OTHER people who I believe may have been effected, but of you, I really don't think I was assuming a thing.

All I was doing was putting the two together to show that they are related, and illustrating this because our perceptions of our intelligence generally mean little in light of how other people perceive us.

are you telling me that the people who scored really low on their IQ tests are still as smart as the ones who scored 25+ points above them?

Not at all... It's possible, yes, but not certain.

I'm just saying that overall it is a very poor measure of intelligence because it is based upon outdated ideas of many things we now believe completely different. Further, the test seems to rely more on your assimilation into your local society and language, instead of your inherit cognitive and problem solving capabilities. I think that the numbers still may say something, but I don't think that this measure is accurate enough to be used realistically or for any reason other than online quizzes or games. I'm not saying it's all rubbish, but it doesn't seem to address what we now believe intelligence to be today, and seems to focus more on social adaptation than anything else. The problem with this sort of test is that it is only relevant in a single context. When that context changes, the test can mean nothing. For example, if society completely changed (as did language) most of the questions in an IQ test would no longer be applicable, but this can't make sense as intelligence is something that is inherit and present at all times, regardless of the environment or surrounding. The IQ test is more a novelty comparison game of where you rank alongside your peers. It could be used for that, yeah, but using it as a measure of intelligence just doesn't seem right.

i don't think i've ever even claimed to be smarter than anyone, as in saying 'i'm smarter than you'.

I kind of doubt you have, and I never really meant to suggest you did. If anything, I've probably let me ego let those words slip more than you have. Anyhow, I honestly, really do not care about whether you think your smart (emotionally) or whether I do.

The only thing I wanted to say was that if you hurt people's feelings without realizing it, this is a part of your emotional intelligence. It doesn't have to mean it lacks (it could be a glitch or oversight), but simply that they are related.

And further, I didn't bring it up to put you down (honestly).. I only brought it up because hearing things like that are occasionally very helpful in developing character (since it's never too late for any of us to improve).

And I do accept the possibility that *I* misread these folks, in which case it would say something of my emotional intelligence (misinterpreting the signals).

reading comprehension. whoops. no real excuse for that one, other than i just wasn't paying as much attention as i could have been.

anyways, whereas i know emotional intelligence and general intelligence are very different, i think they go hand in hand. i don't think you'd be able to realize as much emotionally if you were an idiot. i think being smart in general gives you a better understanding of why you feel one way verses another and therefor you are more emotionally intelligent. being able to identify why you're feeling like you're feeling, being able to communicate it in an effective method, and being able to pick up on other peoples traits are all easier to do (i believe) the smarter you are.

and, i realize i shouldn't even get into this with you, but since you think you know me and want to bring it out in public.. i realize full well i say things to hurt people. i know i used to do it a lot back then, i do it now, and i'll do it in the future. i don't think it makes me emotionally stupid, infact i know it doesn't. it's just me getting a rise out of people, and i like that. i like seeing what buttons i can push and what peoples reactions are. it explains more about the person than what you see often when you're nice to them and it's easier for me to gauge how much i'm going to like a person when i see what it's like when i get under their skin.

plus..what you see about me (what you percieve as me being 'myself', ie 'honest and blunt'), is what i show to people on TT (you've never taken the time to get to know me either way, so i don't know how you can comment on anything about me or my personality). people i don't know, have no desire to really know, and if they get hurt over something said on the internet, they need to check their 'emotional intelligence'. i'm not on TT to make best friends with people. and i'm different on different websites (some where i'm more meek and mild, some where i'm sensitive and caring and more apt to help people and nurture feelings, some where i'm just as nasty as ever).. but out of all the ways i act online, i act even more different in real life, where i'm tres vulnerable, slightly more naive, more child-like in my attitude, more care free, and generally a pretty decent person and i'm only slightly more blunt and honest than the average person.

i don't know if you've happen to take notice at all, i doubt you have, but i am nice to a few people on TT, i show i care about them on here, but more often than not i take it off the site. but like i said, you've never taken the time to talk to me, get to know me, or anything. all you see is what you want to see (which goes far beyond me, and into the rest of the world).

so, don't go assuming anything about my emotional intelligence. whether it be great or small, you have no idea about it.

on the IQ subject, i'm one of the ones that believe in standard IQ tests.. and for good reason. to be put in the 'gifted' program in the school i went to, you had to take an IQ test.. when you put the handful of kids, with the higher IQ's in with the general school population it was VERY obvious who was leaps and bounds ahead. you could hear it in the way they spoke, the way they interacted, and of course in their academic abilities. i went through elementary, middle and high school all in the same 'gifted'/honors courses with the same core group of people (plus people who moved here and whatever), and in general, these people had the higher GPA's, they scored better on standardized tests (FCAT's, SAT's, ACT's) and (for the ones who wanted to) got into the better colleges and are all starting to get their degrees. now, are you telling me that the people who scored really low on their IQ tests are still as smart as the ones who scored 25+ points above them? it's possible they're shitty test takers, but it becomes obvious in the classroom doing regular work, regular projects, reading books, etc. i'm proud of my IQ test results. when only 1 of 25 (or about that) tested were placed in the classes i was put in with, i realized i was special (haha). not a genius, my number is not close to being genius (my husbands is though!), and i've actually never claimed to be one, in any regard (social, emotional, general). i don't think i've ever even claimed to be smarter than anyone, as in saying 'i'm smarter than you'.

either way, i still come out on top. i have great sex. i'm able to have multiple orgasms. is it in relation to my emotional intelligence? i don't know. maybe? maybe not. but really, will there ever be a way to know for sure?


(btw, this is 'me' being passive aggressive. please, add this to your list of things you think you know about my personality, lev!)

I have no doubt that a higher level of emotional intelligence does play a part, but I suspect there seems to be some confusion as to what this means. Either that, or I am just interpreting this article differently.

First of all, intelligence is NOT the same thing as emotional intelligence. Intelligence is NOT even the same thing as social intelligence. These are completely different measures of intelligence.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_intelligence

Simply put, emotional intelligence would govern things like your ability to pick up on subtle signals, your ability to perceive what is wrong with others, your ability to predict how others will react, your ability to perceive when you've done something that hurt someone else, etc.

Emotional intelligence is very distinct from what most of us all know about an "IQ".

Someone could have very high general intelligence and very low emotional intelligence, and vice versa.

And since this was brought up, I had to point out, that 1) the IQ system is often regarded as highly antiquated, irrelevant, bias, racist and inaccurate.

I say this for one simple reason: if that's the sort of thing you'd like to be compared or reputed by, then I guess that's your choice, but I wouldn't use it as any means of justifying or proving how smart anyone may be, because it generally says nothing.

I also thought I'd point out that I found it funny, and rather ironic, that you were so quick to claim this high emotional intelligence, yet I can think of numerous occasions where you have said some really stupid things to people on here, not really taking into consideration how you made the other person feel when you said them. Now maybe I'm just reading in between the lines too much and assuming that's how some of these people felt, or maybe I was just legitimately picking up on these vibes from some folks.

Now you may have high intelligence in one thing or another - I won't even argue that, and I'm not on some mission to prove that you don't. However, I do think it's important to recognize that while we often may see things as very simple and clear, the people we interact with may be thinking something completely different than you, or what they lead you to believe.

I say this simply because I can recall different instances where you were being yourself (honest and blunt) and hurt other peoples feelings and didn't seem to realize it. It isn't something that only happened once upon a time either, as I still feel like I pick up on it once in a while.

As I understand emotional intelligence, this is what it is all about. Being able to recognize the signals from other people when we do things they don't like as well. It could be entirely possible that you were completely aware, and simply didn't care, or it's possible that you may be less emotional aware than you realize.

You may have higher emotional intelligence in other ways than I am talking about here (again, I'm not trying to say anything about this one way or another), but I've noticed some things which would seem to indicate it may be lacking in some areas!

So anyhow, there are varied kinds of intelligence. The three main ones are general intelligence (IQ - the most outdated and criticized one), emotional intelligence and social intelligence (social intelligence being closer related to emotional intelligence).

So it's very possible for someone to be a genius in one way and completely lacking in a more emotional level.

But I do think that this article is onto something, but I think there is a bit more to it than that... As a generalization though, it may hold some truth.

me as well. I also think it would be useful for the same reasons. Because no matter how much they don't complain men generally need help with their sex lives... whether through ignorance or pride you wouldn't see it anywhere though.

quoting xcom:

I only wonder what the male participants were they to do a male study would fare on.

good question.. but i'd be interested in finding out.

I only wonder what the male participants were they to do a male study would fare on.

edited because sometimes i have poor reading comprehension skills. (aka - i skim read and don't pay as much attention as i should. i saw 'intelligence aids sex')

anyways. the post here, just so no one thinks i deleted my original post as a cop out, did mention me and my husband have a higher IQ than most. and that i do have great sex, i always orgasm, i have multiples, and it's never been a problem.

but now that it's been pointed out and i reread the article again, it's talking about emotional intelligence, and where as i don't claim to be a genius in that department, i know i'm 'linked' with my husband on an emotional level that's sometimes i don't realize with everyone else which helps our case.

eitherway, i believe this article. but it'd be a hard thing to measure (no puns intended)

I would agree. In fact for me they are the most important thing. I must be an exception but I cannot get off by just the physical side alone.

Yes, I think emotions have more to do with sex than people realize.